Not all opportunities are meant to be.
What? If it is an “opportunity” shouldn’t it be meant to be—destiny?
I recently had an experience with this—an opportunity that was not meant to be. Stepping away from the experience doesn’t mean you have failed. Rather, it shows strength.
Recognizing that something is not meant to be and stepping away from it is difficult. It takes incredible strength of character to say to yourself “this is not what is meant to be for me.”
In my situation, it was something that was not healthy for me. I went into the situation thinking it was going to be a great opportunity, but once I got into it, I found myself entering self-destruction. By no means am I saying the situation or people involved were responsible. In fact, the experience was wonderful and the people were nothing but supportive. Truly it was a positive environment, but the whole thing was not health for me.
For whatever the reasons, I was no compatible with the situation and experience. The commitment and stress of the situation broke me down in a way I couldn’t have foreseen. I never expected it to be that way. I thought I was ready for the situation and it ended up I was not.
This has happened to me before in the past few years. I have embarked on something I thought I was ready for, only to find out I was wrong. There was one point about four years ago when I went to the theater with a friend. At intermission I asked if we could leave. There was too emotional attachment to the theater having just exited a long-term relationship which started at the theater.
I went into the situation thinking it would be “therapeutic” and that I was ready to do it. Once I was in that situation, however, I was confronted with the reality that I was not. It was humbling but also informative. Often it is hard to know our boundaries until we test them. At the surface, we may feel or believe we can handle something or take something on. Once in the situation though, we learn that mentally or emotionally we are not ready to take it on.
Such was the case with the recent situation. I thought I was ready to jump back into something I truly loved. Once there, however, I found it overwhelming. There was too much emotional baggage still inside me. So, when I was back in this similar situation, I was incapable of handling it healthily. For the sake of myself, I asked to be removed from the situation.
In this case, it may have been a case of burning a bridge I would rather not have done, but my life and health was more important than the potential of returning again. My life, my health, my emotions are infinitely more important than any opportunity out there. Yes, I would love to have all doors open instead of certain ones locked forever, but ultimately, if I am unable to participate because I have “destroyed” myself it doesn’t matter what, if any, doors are open or locked.
I am incredibly grateful to those who supported me throughout this past experience. I am grateful to those who gave me the opportunity. I also sincerely apologize to all those same people that I wasn’t able to fulfill my original commitment. I do appreciate the fact that they were incredibly understanding of my circumstances. Again, I believe I have burned that bridge, but on the surface, they were incredibly supportive.
I recognize that I am fragile. I am a work in progress. I am continually learning, growing, and adapting. I am thankful for those in my life who are understanding and accepting of this fluctuation. Many people are able to distance themselves from situations and emotions, but I am not that person. Everything is incredibly personal to me. Once I attach to something or someone, I hang onto them. Even when that person or situation is unhealthy for me I hang onto it because I value the connection. I am slowly learning to let those things go—no matter how difficult it may be in the moment. Ultimately, I am learning to recognize it is better for me in the long-term big picture.
If something in your life doesn’t bring you joy… Let. It. Go.