little victories

Thank God for little victories or little successes. Whichever you prefer, these are the things that can often go unnoticed in the day-to-day hustle of our lives. I have recently tried to put renewed focus on these small things and be grateful for them.

I am also talking about victories and not necessarily "miracles." I believe those are out there as well, but I am referring to something you aim for or just do and get a little victory/reward from doing so.

For example, I started my own digital marketing company last year—Alphomega Marketing. Recently I had (what I thought was) a great opportunity present itself. After a few months of frustrating back and forth, I became uncomfortable with the project. I knew I could do it, and it would have been good money, but there were too many things that didn’t feel right so I ended the process before contracts were signed. I was a little bummed about it because I thought it was going to be a great opportunity. However, in dropping that client I was able to accept a new client who had far less hoops to jump through and create a website for them immediately. It was nothing compared to the original project I bowed out of, but it was a quick easy project that brought in some money and a new satisfied client. It was an awesome little victory.

It takes time and effort to get a new business going from the ground up, and things have definitely been slow, but this little victory gave me a needed boost in confidence and renewed focus on the fact that it is something I am good at and want to continue to do.

This has also been true in dating. Since my relationship ended I have had a hard time dating—for multiple reasons. I tried soon after the break up and learned that I was absolutely not ready for it. I decided, when it was time, it would work out. I was also frustrated because I have no idea where you are supposed to meet people. I haven’t dated in a decade. The places where I would have gone (and did go) before are not necessarily the places I would go now. I’m not involved in any organizations or groups. So, where does one go to meet people? Why not online? Why not apps?

So, as I have found myself mentally and emotionally ready to date again, that is where I found myself. Websites and apps attract a multitude of people looking for all different kinds of “relationships.” Many times they just want to chat. Many times they become disinterested quickly. Often they disappear or “ghost” without any warning. They arrange a date and never show up. When they do show up they are not like the person they have presented online or in the app—either in physical appearance or personality and demeanor. You can be anyone you want online or in an app, but in person—YOU ARE YOU.

That was beginning to get frustrating. I began to think, perhaps, that was not the best option and I would need to find more hobbies, go back to school, do a musical again, join a group, volunteer somewhere—anything—to meet and connect with REAL people.

Then, a small victory. It is still early and I am not saying it is going to go anywhere. Maybe it will. Maybe it will result in friendship. Maybe it will be something more. It doesn’t matter. That small victory was exactly what I needed, when I needed it. It boosted my confidence that perhaps something like an app or online program DOES have potential for finding a future partner.

Too often I find myself, like many others I am sure, holding back on things because I am afraid or simply uncertain of what the outcome might be. It isn’t even necessarily about success or failure, it is just about the unknown. The outcome isn’t something that will be inherently good or bad, it will just be what it is. I, however, refrain from taking the chance simply because I am scared even though, as I mentioned, the outcome isn’t something that matters one way or another.

That said, as with anything in life, whatever isn’t attempted will never be achieved. Yes, if we try we may fail, but if we don’t try we have already failed. I often talk myself out of the "don’t try/already failed" loop by telling myself I didn’t fail because “I wasn’t even playing.” That is just a trick of the mind—spin if you will. If I don’t play, I get no victory and that is a fail every time.

© 2015-2020 by J Aaron Hales. Created by Alphomega Marketing