I am not really sure why, but I just became overwhelmed with the need to write.
I need to thank the amazing people I have in my life who help make me a better person every day. There are days (especially during this recent quarantine/pandemic) when it has been rough—to say the least. The people in my life, however, have buoyed me up.
First, and foremost, to the most wonderful partner anyone could ever hope for. Two and a half years ago, I never could have imagined my life where it is now. I was happy, but I had pretty much given up on finding a “better half.” Meeting and falling in love with you (and convincing you to fall in love with me) is my life’s crowning achievement.
My parents have made so many things possible—not the least of which is me being where I am today. When I didn’t know how to continue forward, they were there as my biggest cheerleaders. They helped me find “me” again, when I had thought he was lost. Like all of us, they are not perfect. But they are trying. They are growing. I will NEVER be able to repay them for what they have given me.
I have the best brothers and family one could ever imagine. Again, not perfect, but working on being the best versions of themselves they can be. I never had sisters, but my sisters-in-law are amazing women who support my brothers and their families in ways I could never imagine. My aunts, uncles, and cousins have been there for me when I may have been (was) absent from family life.
My friends are the best I could ever hope for. If you consider yourself in this category… Thank you. I am not going to name you because I would inevitably forget someone and feel terrible. So, if you are in this category… Thank you. Several years ago I went through an “unwelcome” cleanse of friends. I lost people I thought (and wanted to believe) were my closest friends. As painful as it was, I realized on the other side of the purge who my REAL friends were. While I don’t want to name names Jared, Heather, Kajsa, Scott, Stefanie, Davey, Ricki, Clark, Nick… you are my rocks. Some of you have been around DECADES and some for a few years. Some are not really even “around” anymore, but you were there at critical points in my life and gave to me something I couldn’t have survived without.
You know who you are… That is all I am going to say. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. The highs were unbelievable as were the lows. I almost allowed you to break me, but what I learned and gained from you has absolutely made me the person I am today. As painful as it all was I wouldn’t change ONE SINGLE THING. The dust WILL settle, the universe DOES equal all things out, and I know we will end up exactly where we are supposed to. Thank you for what you taught me. Thank you for challenging me. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for ALL the life lessons you taught me. There are things you taught me I will ALWAYS and NEVER do again, and I thank you for them all. I hope you take even one small positive thing from me and our time together. If that is the case, whether acknowledged or not, it was all worth it.
Toni. You know who you are and will likely never read this. To say you changed my life in perhaps the shortest of times would be an understatement at best. From our first introduction, I KNEW you were special. While we haven’t been in as close of contact recently, the tears are beginning to flow as I think and remember our time together. I honestly believe, the rest of my life is possible (whatever it may be) because of you. I cannot think of anyone who has affected me more profoundly and in such a short amount of time as you. You helped me find and believe in me again. All things that come after this, truly are only possible because of and through you. Thank you today and always. Many (if not all) of the other relationships I have enumerated here have been and are affected by what I gained from you. I have only said this 2 other times in my life, but I believe our souls are connected on a much deeper/higher plain. I love you forever!
OK. That’s it. That is everything that is in my head and my heart. That is everything I needed to get out into the universe on THIS day.